20.4.15

Ano'ng Trip ng Kalawakan? Part II

Ano ba namang trip yan? Kapag nagmahal ka ng kaunti, iiwan ka. Kapag sobra pala, iiwan ka pa rin. Gaano ba kasi karami ang ‘tama lang’? Tama ba talaga ang ‘tama lang’? Madali lang naman magsabi ng “Mahal kita” kaso hindi madaling panindigan. Bakit ba kasi sasabihin kung babawiin rin naman pala? Inalis lang nila ang ‘g’ sa pag-asa. Bakit masakit, kuya Eddie? Sa maling rason at maling desisyon, maling tao ang nasaktan. Pero salamat na rin kasi dahil masakit, nalaman kong may puso nga ako. Kapag sinabi mong “Break na tayo”, hindi ba shortcut lang yun sa “’Wag mo na akong hawakan, ‘wag mo na akong halikan, ‘wag mo na akong tawagan at putang ina mo, lumayas ka sa buhay ko. Hindi kita maintindihan, mabuti pang bumalik ka na lang sa sinapupunan ng nanay mo. Gago. Isa pa. Gago.”? Loser ang mga nagsasabi ng “Break na tayo.” Weak. First blood. Duwag. KJ. Sila yung mga walang forever. Minsan mapapa-isip ka, “Bakit ba kasi hindi na lang tayo ginawang halaman?” Minsan tatanungin mo na lang sa hangin, “Kapag binigay mo na ang lahat tapos walang nangyari, ano yun, lahat na nga pero kulang pa rin?” “Ay puta. Isang malaking kagaguhan”, sagot naman ng hangin. Pero masaya magmahal. Kahit hassle, kahit shit, kahit nakakapokra. Putang ina kasi ng pusong sinaksak sa baga na kapag nagsimulang tumibok, Boom Pag-ibig. Makulimlim ngayon sa Dema dahil may isang tangang naniwala sa tadhana at sa “Bahala na si Batman.” Walang tadhana, tanga. Batman lang ang meron. Hehe. Pero minsan, napapagod rin siya. Hay. Nawawala na naman si Orion sa kalawakan. Bakit ayaw na niya akong makita ulit? Teka, hindi ako bitter. Nagtatanong lang. Hindi ko pa rin talaga maarok ang trip ng kalawakan. Mag-iisip na lang muna ako ng sagot kaya... Break na muna tayo.

Tedium


I’ve been here before,
Freezing in this bedroom floor
come summer.

Caught in suspension—
Restless and afraid
the tables will turn in a moment,
God damn it.

The answer is surefire,
God damn it, I am

Just waiting for the
freeing of the
information from that
Tri-tone ringer

That the eastern air will sooner or later cease,
Extinguishing the fire from that last kiss.
Let the sunshine steal my bliss
When the truth spills from her lips,

“I love you” but

God damn it, the time is up.

The rhum spills from the cup and

God damn it, God damn it,
God damn it.

Dashboard Days

In a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the pain?
I don’t know, don’t remind me.
Find cure in my plugged ear.
Still sick from the deafening, dizzying heights.
We were never rescued by the flares. Can’t
Say it was fair enough to be killed
by the climb, revived
by the fall. No
Pads, no helmets. Impact. Be led right
back to the Dashboard days --I
Wasn’t wrong about love. 

Power Tripping

I’ve been here for the longest time,
Seen people come and go,
Most times in groups
Or in-between glances, vanishing
One by one. The cyclical
Strangers, acquaintances
Friends, farewell, faces fade into another but
they all have that same stinking
Self-serving, id-feeding monster within
Their murky souls.

Constant and unchanging, unsettling me.

Hedons who know jargons and word play,
Persuasion, luring you to hypnotic realms

With fervor. With zeal. With passion.
That’s fib, fake, fuck it.

When will these fleas fly? I don’t
Have the blood to bear them.

They’ve been here for the longest time,
Coming in that cyclical
Strangers, acquaintances
Friends, farewell, faces fade into another

Lunatic.